FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS

Everyone is connected to their own family system, ancestors and their destiny. Family constellations make fixed patterns and old beliefs visible.

WHAT IS A FAMILY CONSTELLATION?

Family constellations are an excellent method to bring to light the workings of the collective conscience across generations. Constellations often take place in groups. Each participant has the opportunity to constellate his or her family by inviting representatives from the group of participants. The person asking the question places the representatives in relation to each other, as corresponds to his or her inner image. The surprising and as yet unexplained phenomenon is that the representatives suddenly feel like the real people for whom they have been constellated. They have the same feelings and sometimes also similar physical symptoms. The representatives feel, observe and tell how their mutual relationships are and what tendencies they have. The counselor and the client see which events in the background of the family are relevant and which dynamics are at work, which may be related to the client's question. From these insights it is possible to make a move or do process work that has a healing function for the client. Often, facing the inner image by means of a constellation alone is very enlightening and valuable.

THE PILLARS

The pillars of systemic work are binding, order and balance between give and take.
The binding means that every family member has the right to his place and the right to belong equally. No one can be excluded. Even a family member who committed suicide, a child who died too early, a criminal or an addicted family member.
The order represents the hierarchy within the system. People who are entitled to a place earlier in the system, go before those who came later in the system. That is why parents have priority over children. The first child goes before the second, etc.
Balance in give and take, parents give to their children what they can give. The children take what they get. Children have no right to demand anything from their parents. They must take their parents as they are.

HOW DOES A FAMILY CONSTELLATION WORK?

During family constellations we work with representatives. Together we create a field that contains a lot of wisdom. The client asks a question and with the help of the representatives we work step by step towards insight, peace and balance in the system. A special process that unfolds subtly. Clients sometimes experience it as if they are watching their “own movie”.

With a constellation you get a special insight into the force field that -often invisible- has a great influence on the theme or issue of the questioner. The facilitator of the constellation asks a few questions to explore what else might be playing a role unconsciously. Then the facilitator and the questioner determine which elements or persons are set up. The questioner invites other participants to represent these persons or factors, 'to reprisalto enter' in a line-up.

A representative is someone who is prepared to represent a person or 'something' for the person asking the question in the family constellation. Anyone can be a representative. You do not need to have certain skills or experience. However, an open attitude and a respectful and honest approach towards the client and the question are important for working with constellations.

The questioner places you as a representative of a certain family member in a certain place in the room with your face in a certain direction, based on how he/she experiences that. You don't have to do anything there. The only thing you do is become aware of what you are walking and what you are thinking and experience what it is like to stand there. You will be amazed at what your experiences are then. The guide will then ask you: "What is it like to stand there? What do you feel, what do you think?" You can then simply say what you feel and think. The special thing is that what you feel provides information about the system in which you are placed as a representative. A special experience, which is almost impossible to describe. Doing it once is the best.

FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS ARE PART OF SYSTEMIC WORK

Systemic Work by means of: family constellations, organizational constellations, table constellations and systemic coaching

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Family bonding

Every person belongs to a family from birth. This creates a bond with all those who belong to this family. An unconscious mechanism – Bert Hellinger calls it the 'family conscience' – watches over the conditions that prevail in the community of fate that forms the family. We are exposed and subject to this whether we want it or not. It is, as it were, the blueprint that we receive at birth or the imprint that we know from our early childhood. This conscience ensures the bond within the system, for the balance, both in giving and taking and in what fate brings, and for order. Order means that all who belong to the family system, including the deceased, have the same right to belong. If a family member is excluded, despised or forgotten – for example a stillborn child – then the collective conscience ensures that someone else, usually from a subsequent generation, unconsciously identifies with the one who has been excluded. In this 'entanglement' he becomes the excluded one and imitates aspects of his fate, without knowing why and without being able to defend himself against it.

Order in time

A second order that the collective conscience watches over is the order in time. For example, parents have priority over children and the first child has priority over the second and so on. Within families, a newly formed family has priority over the previous family. So the current family has priority over the family of origin and the second family has priority over the first, even if it is created by a child from an extramarital relationship, for example. In contrast to the conscious personal conscience with which we can directly perceive whether our actions endanger our right to belong, the unconscious, collective conscience ensures the survival and cohesion of the family as a whole.

Family system

Through family constellations we have gained insight into what a family actually entails. A family includes all those who are included in the collective group conscience of the family. All children belong to the family, so ourselves and all brothers and sisters, half-brothers and half-sisters, also stillborn children, those given away, those concealed and aborted children. The parents belong and all their brothers or sisters. Then the grandparents, sometimes with their brothers or sisters, especially when they had a special fate, and sometimes also the great-grandparents. In addition to the blood relatives, those who have been disadvantaged by the family in one way or another or whose fate or death gave the family an advantage also belong, for example previous partners of parents or grandparents, who have made way or who had to free them. All victims of violent acts of a family member also belong. Based on the special bond that arises between victim and perpetrator, the murderers of a family member also belong. Together they all form the lost community of the family.

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HISTORY AND ORIGIN OF FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS

Family constellations are a therapeutic method developed by the German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger in the 1980s. Hellinger combined insights from systemic work, group dynamics and his experience as a missionary in South Africa, where he studied the community-oriented traditions of the Zulu people. These traditions, in which respect for ancestors and the influence of the family are central, inspired him to develop a method that makes the invisible dynamics within family systems visible.

The basis of family constellations lies in the systemic approach, who states that every individual is inextricably linked to his or her family system. According to Hellinger, disruptions within this system – such as hidden traumas, conflicts or unprocessed emotions – can have an effect for generations. By making these disruptions visible in a constellation, a process of healing and balance can be initiated.

In addition to Hellinger's work, the method has been further developed by contributions from other therapists and trainers. Today, family constellations are used worldwide, not only in psychotherapy, but also in coaching, education and business. The goal, however, remains the same: to gain insight into the mutual relationships and unconscious patterns within systems, in order to restore peace and harmony.

Family constellations have now become a widely recognized and powerful method that helps people to understand the influence of their family system and to let go of old burdens.

WHY ARE FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS SO POWERFUL?

Family constellations are a powerful method because they work on a deep, often unconscious level. Many of the problems we experience – whether it concerns personal blockages, recurring patterns in relationships, or physical complaints without a medical cause – have their origin in the dynamics of our family system. By making this dynamic visible and working with it, space is created for insight, acceptance and change.

One of the reasons family constellations are so effective is that they use the wisdom of the field, also called the morphogenetic field. This field represents the energetic and emotional connections within a system. During a constellation, representatives are intuitively placed to represent family members or elements from a system. This process often reveals surprising and accurate information about mutual relationships and hidden tensions.

In addition, family constellations do not only focus on symptoms, but on the causes of problems. For example, a recurring sense of guilt or fear may stem from an unresolved trauma from a previous generation. By acknowledging and addressing this cause, a process of healing is initiated, not only for yourself but often for the wider family system.

Another powerful aspect of family constellations is that they go beyond words and stories. Where traditional therapies often work with conversations and analyses, a constellation uses intuition, body language and positioning in space. This makes it possible to gain insights that are difficult to put into words, but that can be directly felt and healing.

Finally, family constellations create a safe space for recognition and acceptance. Seeing the past and the dynamics within a system as they are, without judgement, creates space to let go of what is not yours. This can lead to a deep sense of liberation and inner peace, which further underlines the power of family constellations.

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